Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
