Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
