Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
