I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize