Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize