explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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