I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
