it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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