I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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