a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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