are you so shy because you have an std?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
