fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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