Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
