After last night, I could never be a politician.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Randomize
