Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize