Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
