we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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