Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
