Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
