My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
