Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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