Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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