Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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