what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
