Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
