nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
