I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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