Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
