if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
