Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Couch. On fire.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
