The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
