She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
