Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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