shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize