I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
