So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
