I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
