Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
