I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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