Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
