It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
