I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize