I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
