why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
