So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
