she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
