2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize