In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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