god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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