Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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