I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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