his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
