Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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