He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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