Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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