I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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