I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
