Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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