I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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