I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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