What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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