i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm too high and old for this...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
