So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
