So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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